عالم الحياة الزوجية - منتدى

(السفيرة) · 10-01-2008, 20:13

Trust is the foundation of any intimate, secure and successful relationships. It must be earned and maintained with consistent actions.

Trust has to be a living, breathing entity in order for a relationship to survive.
So when your trust is violated, how do you overcome that and restore trust in a relationship? If you have the desire to try rebuilding trust in a relationship again or just learn to trust again in general, we have some steps you can take to get you there.
Trust may seem like an obscure concept, difficult to define. Sometimes you can’t tell if you truly trust someone, especially when you have no past experience to base it on.
Sometimes people simply can’t trust anymore – they’ve been too badly hurt and they can’t bear to be that vulnerable again. It’s understandable, but if you’re willing to build trust in a relationship again, here are some tips to get you on the right path.

Learn to really trust yourself

If you don’t trust yourself, meaning your ability to have good judgment and to make good choices, how can you trust someone else? Having confidence in yourself will help you make better choices because you

l more capable and can discern what the best outcome would be for your well-being.

Just keep in mind that once your trust has been violated, your defenses start working overtime to protect yourself. Pay closer attention to your instincts and keep working on building trust in yourself.

Grieve

When a loved one dies, the natural grieving process tends to come in five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These five stages can also occur when you lose trust in someone. Don’t fight any of these stages. You’ll usually get through all of them – with time.
Forgivenessan also can be added as the sixth stage in regards to trust. If you can find it in your heart to forgive, then you’ll be able to release anger and hurt.

Stop labeling yourself the victim
If you’ve been betrayed, you are the victim of your circumstance. But there’s a difference between being a victim and living with a “victim mentality.” At some point in all of our lives, we’ll have our trust tested or violated.

You didn’t lose “everything”
When we’re severely betrayed, such as being cheated on in a relationship, we tend to

l like we have lost everything that means anything to us. Once trust is lost, what is left? Instead of looking at the situation from this hopeless angle, look at everything you still have and be thankful for all of the good in your life.

Keep your expectations high
Avoid situations that share the same pattern of circumstance where your trust was violated. On the flip side, it’s also important to recognize that just because you’ve been violated before doesn’t mean it will automatically happen again. You have to stop the harmful belief that any new relationship will end up the same way.
Losing trust in someone can have a devastating effect on your relationship, as well as your sense of self-worth, but building trust in a relationship again is possible. It takes a willingness to work on both yourself and your betrayer, but trust can be won back. And when trust in a relationship is regained, it is truly healing. Trust on this one!
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الوسـام السعودي · 10-01-2008, 20:51

you are right
what a great subject
we need these rules in our life
I like this topic . it is right

Stop labeling yourself the victim
If you’ve been betrayed, you are the victim of your circumstance. But there’s a difference between being a victim and living with a “victim mentality.” At some point in all of our lives, we’ll have our trust tested or violated

(السفيرة) · 10-01-2008, 22:56

اقتباس:

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة الوسـام السعودي

you are right
what a great subject
we need these rules in our life
I like this topic . it is right

Stop labeling yourself the victim
If you’ve been betrayed, you are the victim of your circumstance. But there’s a difference between being a victim and living with a “victim mentality.” At some point in all of our lives, we’ll have our trust tested or violated

Yes we should not be broken for the rest of life just because we have been hit...
Sometimes it is better to accept bad facts..and compromise rather than losing all..
Thanks

رهييب · 10-01-2008, 23:31

Thank you sister for this great article

Can we say never trust others, or be careful when dealing with others? Since their behavior can not be guaranteed, and they may betray you any time? Therefore deal with people just nicely and don't reach the stage of trusting them?

We have been betrayed and cheated many times, and our hearts have been broken many times by those who we considered as close friends. Is it better that we consider friends merely as ordinary colleagues?

(السفيرة) · 11-01-2008, 02:18

اقتباس:

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة رهييب

Thank you sister for this great article

Can we say never trust others, or be careful when dealing with others? Since their behavior can not be guaranteed, and they may betray you any time? Therefore deal with people just nicely and don't reach the stage of trusting them?

We have been betrayed and cheated many times, and our hearts have been broken many times by those who we considered as close friends. Is it better that we consider friends merely as ordinary colleagues?

Well... I think it is hard to live without deep trust in others..
No matter how much we have been betrayed, still we do need confidence to

l secure..
but we need to know whom we should trust..
not everyone around us is trustworthy!
many thanks

(المهاجر) · 11-01-2008, 14:44

Really a great subject
with very clear points
The case depends also on... our abillity of adaptation

Thanks

(السفيرة) · 11-01-2008, 15:50

اقتباس:

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة (المهاجر)

Really a great subject
with very clear points
The case depends also on... our abillity of adaptation

Thanks

Absolutely TRUE..
We need to learn how to cope with life ups and downs..
the "Take it or leave it" principle does not" always apply...
Thanks..

وميض الأمل · 25-01-2008, 17:12

Yes u r absolutely right...we have 2 trust ourselves & then we'll trust others...
I have a question 4 u if u don't mind...I have noticed some logical topics provided by u, do u write all these topics? or u just copy them,coz if u copy them , u have to write the word copied ,but
if u r the one who wrote them,then let me say u have such a wonderful style of writing
thanx alot...

(السفيرة) · 26-01-2008, 02:33

اقتباس:

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة وميض الأمل

Yes u r absolutely right...we have 2 trust ourselves & then we'll trust others...
I have a question 4 u if u don't mind...I have noticed some logical topics provided by u, do u write all these topics? or u just copy them,coz if u copy them , u have to write the word copied ,but
if u r the one who wrote them,then let me say u have such a wonderful style of writing
thanx alot...

They are copied but edited much... perhaps I overlooked pointing it clearly...
Thanks for lightening the page

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عالم الحياة الزوجية - منتدى

How we build trust in someone after we lose it!